One of the greatest revelations fatherhood supplies is how innately different girls and boys are at a very early age. Having had only brothers, growing up in a male dominated world, and working almost exclusively with men left me clueless concerning women’s formative years. There have been times in my life I have been truly surprised when the woman I was dating suddenly appeared in a dress or is revealed to actually prefer the color pink. While boys are bouncing off walls like their entire existence is controlled by a random number generator, most little girls are already planning their future, including the number and names of their children.
Obviously, many of us are born one gender, but identify with the opposite gender. So, there are little boys doing the same thing most girls do and vice versa. The point is at a very early age the differences between the sexes are far more pronounced than I had ever imagined. This thought, which has been moving back and forth between the front and back burners of my mind, finally culminated in a wonderfully lucid dream.
Boys are very similar to dogs. We wander the streets aimlessly sniffing about and marking our trail. We tend to not think too much about today, even less about tomorrow. We are easily lost in exploration, without caring or even noticing we are lost. We are far too busy to realize our curiosity has led us far from home, our bladders are empty, and the return trail has gone cold.
At some point, if we are lucky, a woman comes along. We then do our best to appear to be the fearless all knowing explorer. If that fails, we put on our best little lost puppy act. Either way, the goal is to get the girl. What we don’t realize is the girls have been driving around for years looking for brave explorers or lost puppies. We never stood a chance.
At some point we learn the truth; we were not the hunter, we were the prey. Some girls may not realize what they are looking for or have the emotional strength to resist picking up the wrong dog. And some girls lacking in self-respect will fall prey to the worst of us. But in general, women will usually win in the end.
Women are stronger and smarter, and the proof is that they let men believe the opposite is true. They have us whipped from an early age. So, when someone accuses me of being whipped, I have a ready response: There are two kinds of men, whipped or lonely; enjoy your long, lonely night tough guy.